The Sweet Revenge
by crimsonstripe
Summary: The most retarded, but funny, story ever written. contains health problems, pyromaniacs, romance, drama, and HoRRoR! Basically it's just a bunch of random funny thoughts thrown together.
1. Tsukiyomi

**A/N: Well this is my first fic so go easy on me. I wrote this with my friend and this story contains some random and retarted stuff. It's also a Naruto fic with pratically everyone(including bands like: Avenged Sevenfold, Linkin Park, Three days grace, etc.)**

**We also would like to mention that even though we wish it weren't true we don't own any of the Naruto Characters or any of the bands. I don't even own the entire story. My friend helped me type this at 3:19 a.m. Crazy, huh?**

Now lets get on with this story of randomness.

Chapter 1: The Tsukiyomi

One dark and rainy and depressing day, Deidara told Tobi to go cut himself.Tobi, being the good boy he is, followed directions perfectly. 

The next day Tobi went to far with the cutting and made this really deep and gashing wound on his arm and started bleeding uncontrollably and fell into a major breakdown and cried. Deidara sat there and laughed at him, while video taping Tobi bleed to death. After Tobi was done because he realized that cutting himself hurt, Deidara took the footage and posted it on the internet. It got so many hits that it was the #1 hit on youtube and he was the most popular guy on youtube. Every one on the internet laughed and made fun of Tobi, including the rest of the Akatsuki (even the dead people.) So, Tobi decided to get revenge…….

His idea for revenge was to get Itachi-san do the Tsukiyomi on Deidara. When Itachi got back from wherever he was, Tobi asked in his retarded good boy voice. Itachi was bored so he agreed. Deidara, being a very smart guy, knew what they were up to. Itachi got Kisame to jump on Deidara and hold him down. Then Itachi started the Tsukiyomi…..

_"Deidara, your 72 hours have begun,"Itachi said as he prepared for another 72 hours of torture. _

_"NOOOOOO!! YEAH! " Deidara screamed._

_Itachi grabbed a pair of scissors and inched closer._

_"NOT MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" Deidara started sobbing hysterically._

_"oh, this?" Itachi asked, holding up the scissors," These aren't for your hair. I just felt like freaking you out here's the real Tsukiyomi."_

_An awful noise was filling up Deidara's head. "Poor, poor, Deidara,"Itachi was shaking his head."For the next 72 hours, you have to put up with…Leader -sama singing in the shower after he just ate the bean burrito deluxe from taco bell. And Tobi might join him."_

_All of a sudden, Kisame ran in wearing…lettuce leaves taped between his legs. Then they fell off._

_A loud rumble was heard. The Leader sniffed the air. "oh," He giggled," pardon me!" He went back to singing his song: When the Stars Go Blind by Paris Hilton._

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Deidara screamed as Tobi ran in wearing only his mask. The leader farted again._

_"71 hours and 59 minutes and 59 seconds left." Itachi's voice was heard over the loudspeakers._

_To make matters worse the leader decided to go high pitch with the song and there was a loud screech_

_Then he farted again, but this time, you could see his butt cheeks jiggling and the gas waves come out.(A/N:Ewww….that's gross my friend typed this sentence the nasty)_

_"AHHHHHHHH!" Deidara screamed. "My eyes, my ears, my sanity…. The smell is overloading my senses!" He crawled into a fetal position in the corner of the leaders bathroom and sobbed. The smell was discoloring the Tsukiyomi background. _

_The smell was so powering, the Tsukiyomi…broke!(insert dramatic music)_

An ear piercing scream was heard. Itachi was rolling around on the ground in agony. The horrible truth was revealed. For some reason that remains to be found out, the leader was taking a sponge bath in the kitchen and farting and singing(see Tsukiyomi). Deidara stood up and picked up a kitchen knife…

A/N: So what did you think of the first chapter? We had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you have just as much fun reading it. 

Read and review please…or else you are going to actually experience the Tsukiyomi…..complete with smell (evil grin) MWAHAHAHAHAHA! JOKES!


	2. Stallion duck

Thanks much for reviewing our story! 

A/N: Again, we don't own the stallion duck. The reverend from avenged sevenfold (drummer) came up with it. I got it off of the all excess dvd,

Chapter 2: the stallion duck

Deidara raised the kitchen knife and brought it down hard on a carrot. The man on the TV was cooking sushi. Deidara somehow managed to ignore the stench and Itachi's suffering. 

Itachi sat up and looked around. Everyone was normal. They were all acting normal, if it could be called that. Tobi and Sasori were playing Halo II on the Xbox Live. Sasori was winning because Tobi still had his stupid scars from when he cut himself. Kakuzu was playing online poker on his stolen laptop. Hidan was off in the corner doing some ritual to a picture of Madonna. The leader finished his sponge bath and went downstairs.

Kisame randomly appeared and kicked Tobi in the face. "Holy Crap!" Itachi thought. Kisame was even wearing clothes. Tobi, being the idiot that he is,suddenly looked out the window. "OMIGOSH," Tobi squealed. "Look at the size of that duck!!" 

"That's not a duck you idiot! It's a peacock." Sasori said. (It's a goose.) Tobi got this mushy look on his face. He had hearts in his eyes as well. "I think I'm in love with that stallion duck." He whispered.

Gay music started playing in the background as Tobi imagined his life with the duck. They would get married and have little ducklings named Tobi. All of them. Other creepy images started popping up but we're censoring them because they're just plain retarded and perverted and disgusting.

Tobi decided that he would propose to the stupid thing (the goose) that afternoon. Since the akatsuki don't like flowers, there where none nearby, so Tobi didn't have any to give to his 'love'.

He went into the yard and picked some grass. For a ring he used a funyun (sp?). When he saw the goose, he nearly fainted. "Come here my love! Come so I can bask in your glory!" he screamed. The goose came up to Tobi and slapped him in the face. "How dare you, you despicable boy!" The Goose (Gus) honked. "I'm already owned by someone!" Suddenly, a large truck rammed into Tobi. A really tall man with chicken butt hair (no not Sasuke) stepped out of the car onto what remained of Tobi. "Gus!" the Rev yelled, "was this creep hitting on you?"

The goose honked a reply that Rev took for yes. Without another word, the Rev ran over Tobi a couple more times. The tires, which were covered in chains and broken glass, caused Tobi to stick to them. As the Rev drove off into the sunset, the Akatsuki cheered. They were happy that Tobi was gone. As Itachi popped open the champagne, there was a retarded voice at the door. 

"Didya really think you could have a party without me?"

……………………………………………………………………

There was chapter two. We got tired of writing and really should get to bed. It's like 5:15 a.m. right now and my friend is practically sleeping at the keyboard. Thanks again for reviewing! We appreciate the reviews and we want to know what you like and what you didn't.


	3. Vengeance

Chapter 3:Vengeance

The akatsuki looked around to find the source of the voice. They opened the door. There stood a deformed looking short dude with blonde and black hair. In one hand he was carrying a bass guitar. In the other was a 6 pack of beer.

"Soooooo…."Johnny Christ slurred, obviously drunk,"Where are all, all the hot chicksssssssss?" Everybody just stared at him as he staggered into the room. "Hi there gorgeous," he grinned at Itachi and stumbled and tripped on a dust bunny. Itachi kicked him. Before his foot came in contact with a part of Johnny that probably shouldn't have been kicked, there was a loud boom. Rubble flew everywhere as the wall collapsed and the revs truck flew in. The truck was unharmed, by the way, but managed to hit Itachi. The rev jumped out of the truck, stepping on Johnny on his way out of the truck.

Johnny died. Itachi got angry because for once in his life, someone was hitting on him. He felt loved even though it was just Johnny. So when things get tough, the tough get shopping!

Itachi went to the mall and looked at all the gorgeous clothes. First, he went to Claire's to buy some new earrings and more lip gloss and nail polish. The mall is 7 stories high with its own football field, and an aquarium and a roller coaster, and rocket launching pad. It also has a prison, a torture chamber and an opera house (in the sub-basement). It has 2,354 shops in it and is located in Atlantis.

After Itachi got his nail polish, he went to Victoria's secret to buy underwear. As he was leaving, he saw an ad for the new guitar hero (guitar hero: Michael Jackson) so he went to gamestop to buy it. In gamestop, he saw a pink and purple pony les Paul and he wanted it. The price tag read $1,523,754,357,432.99. The game cost $4 (plus shipping and handling, and tax). The game is imported from Czechoslovakiurklestaniniairagiswedebrazilinglenormlayathaichinifinugandetopialand (or Swalbard for short.)

He got the game and went home so he could play it. When he got home he had to go to the bathroom. He left the game on the table along with his pink and purple pony les Paul. Toby was walking by and he saw the game and the guitar. He got it all set so he could play and started off with the song "beat it". He started playing and he sucked so bad that the playstation 4 blew up and the $1,523,754, 357,432.99 guitar got scratched.

Itachi heard the boom from downstairs. He rushed out of the bathroom so fast that he didn't even pull his pants up.. There stood Tobi with his precious guitar and his blown up playstation four. Tobi saw the look in Itachis eyes and screamed bloody murder.

"Oh No!!!,"screeched Tobi, "I'm sorry! Don't hurt me! I'm a good boy!" He ran down the stairs to the first floor and hid in the kitchen cupboard. Right at that moment, Deidara decided he wanted a nice chocolatey bowl of Akatsuki-O's (their own cereal brand.) He opened the cupboard and saw Tobi sitting there cowering. Deidara heard Itachi yelling for Tobi and decided that he would get revenge for the tsukiyomi thing. So he yelled for Itachi who promptly came downstairs to viciously murder Tobi.

Itachi slowly stared at Tobi as an evil grin spread on his face.

"Hello, Tobi," Itaci whispered in a creepy voice," prepare to die…"

………………………………………………………………………………...

So sorry its been long. Ive been typing stupid things like school works and poems about micheal Jackson. Anyway hope you enjoyed our most pointless chapter in this random story. If you would like so see someone in the story, give us a shout out and let us know. Its so hard to write a story as a team if one of us is in Italy, ya know?


	4. Serial Killers in Disneyland

Chapter Four: Serial killers in Disney land

A/N: okay im sorry for not getting chapter three up very fast. We decided to send the akatsuki to Disneyland to see what sorts of trouble they could get into so enjoy.

After Itachi was done mauling Tobi (which I have censored for your convenience), Pein decided the akatsuki needed a vacation. He went to his travel agent to see what was available. They looked over many different options and decided that Malibu was too expensive, Hawaii was too surferish, Alaska was too cold, and seaworld would offend Kisame (u kno that's where he came from.) So together they decided that the akatsuki would be going to Disneyland.

When the news was delivered to the rest of the Akatsuki, they all cheered and hurried to pack their clothes, underwear and bathing suits. Itachi picked out his nicest designer clothes and his most expensive underwear. Kisame packed his designer swimming trunks and his tinkerbell outfit. Tobi didn't know what to pack so he just sat on the floor and drew with crayons. Deidara packed all his hair stuff (straightener, gel, shampoo, conditioner, leave-in conditioner, conditioning spray, silk drops, etc..) and his normal clothes. Zetsu missed the memo so he just sat and watched planet earth on the hd tv.. Konan punched kisame in the face for stealing all her flower accessories and trying on her thongs, which happened to rip because he is so fat.

When everybody was done packing 17 hours later, they loaded up the akatsuki bus which is red and black with frilly lace triming and covered in hello kitty paintings and band names and drove to Disneyland. As soon as they hit the road, Tobi decided he had gas and complained about it. He finally shut up when Konan threatened to take away his blanky and throw it out the window. Kisame sat and threw up on Itachi the entire time and Itachi, who had his head out the window, didn't notice. Pein drove and managed to avoid the majority of the vehicles. He "didn't see" the sign that said 60 mph speed limit and drove at 250 mph instead.

After the 36 hour puke, fart, and fight filled drive, they finally arrived in Disneyland. As soon as they were admitted, Deidara ran for the dumbo ride. He rode it 156,547 times in a row and refused to get off when the park closed. Anyway, when Deidara was on the Dumbo ride, everyone else went to do other things. Pein went and rode the it's a small world after all ride and cried the entire time because he thought the puppets were scary. Konan went straight for the roller coaster and the dropping ride thingy. She also rode the tower of terror and was the only one who didn't barf, cry, and or pee her pants.

Itachi and Kisame decided to stick together and ride the Winnie the pooh ride. They also tried the pirates of the Carribean ride and thought it was too scary and decided when they got back, they would file a lawsuit against Disneyland for having scary rides. As lunchtime rolled around, the akatsuki all met up in Animal Kingdom for lunch (everybody except Deidara, who was still on the dumbo ride.) As they ate their dino shaped chicken nuggets, they strolled around and looked at the animals. In the shark tank, Kisame saw his cousin Gerald and had a nice chat about the hottest women in Hollywood.

After they were done in the Animal Kingdom, they went to space mountain and toon town. When Mickey mouse came to take a picture with Konan she kicked him in the balls and ran. Kisame disappeared only to be found making out with Ariel in the splash mountain ride. Itachi disappeared with Cinderella and they went of to only God knows where. As the Akatsuki slowly ran off on their own, it ended up with only Pein, Konan, and Tobi.

Pein decided to get rid of Tobi so he could have some alone time with Konan. He shoved Tobi on the ferris wheel (Sun Wheel) and walked away with Konan. They walked over to the teacup ride where Pein tried to make a move on Konan. Before he could kiss her, the spinning motions made him throw up in her face. She kicked him in the balls with her steel toed boots and punched him in the face 158 times. Pein went unconscious and Konan threw him in the trash, duck taped the lid down and shoved him onto the California Screamer then walked away and went and rode the roller coaster and couple more times.

The day eventually ended and the akatsuki prepared to watch the fireworks. The security guards were shutting down the rides and went to turn off the dumbo ride. Deidara was still riding. The security guard ordered Deidara to get off, but being a criminal and all, he refused. The guard pulled out a tazer and a can of mace and attacked Deidara. Deidara didn't want to get off so he blew the guard away to kingdom come. Everyone cheered, thinking it was the fireworks.

Finally the Akatsuki got ready to leave. They had to go and find all of the members, which took about 5 hours. They couldn't find Pein and just left him there. Konan wouldn't tell anyone where he was so the garbage man just picked up the garbage and drove away to Paris. Everyone went home satisfied and with a nice souvenir. They were all happy until Pein showed up the next week covered in random garbage and cockroaches started to crawl out of his tattered Akatsuki robe.


	5. Going to Walmart

A/n: Alright here's Ch. 5! Sorry, for taking so long to update, there's just so much schoolwork and it's hard to co-write a story when the other person is in a different country. Thanks so much for the reviews. They are really appreciated. Thank you: Astrocam, Spottedstar2, and byakugan-master93 for reviewing! It means alot to us. The song Itachi and Deidara sing is a song we made up. It's called "OJ"

Disclaimer: *Sigh* We don't own Naruto! Or the song Pain by Three Days Grace.

Chatper Five: Grocery Shopping

"Ugh, I'm soo hungry!!!" Tobi yelled as he was watching Iron Chef and was in the living room on the couch with Deidara, Kisame, Pein, and Konan.

"Shut up Tobi, yeah!" Deidara yelled as he was taking notes on the mystery food the Iron Chef guy was talking about. Deidara kept taking notes and Pein was copying his notes and both were staring intently at the screen when all of a sudden it goes black.

"Oops! Tobi didn't mean it! Tobi is a good boy. Please don't hurt me!" Tobi screamed as he was holding the TV chord in his hands. Deidara and Pein jumped off the couch and started to beat the crap out of Tobi. Telling him that he was the stupidest person to live and to never touch their precious TV again. Deidara tied up Tobi and Pein put tape over his mouth and stuffed him in a closet. They plugged the TV back in again just in time to see the Iron Chef guy reveal the mystery food,

Pein and Deidara started to write more notes. The Iron Chef guy revealed the mystery and it was………..fish. Kisame looked to the screen and his face turned green. He ran to the bathroom and started to puke. After he was done puking he went into the kitchen to get his comfort food.

He looked inside the freezer to get some ice cream and nothing was there. He looked inside the fridge and that was empty as well. He started to open all the cabnets and drawers and they were all empty. Except for the cobwebs and spiders that were growing in the corners but, Tobi ate those.

He had nothing to eat and he was mad. He walked back into the living room and told Pein that they all going to the grocery store and buy some food.

Pein agreed and yelled for everyone to come to the living room for an emergency meeting. Kakuzu, Hidan, and Itachi walked in. Tobi busted through the closet door and squirmed over to Leader-sama.

"Alright, listen up! We are out of food and we are going to go buy some groceries at Walmart. I want everyone to damage the store and burn it down when we are done. Just don't do too much damage until our groceries are out of the store because we don't want the cops on us again. " Pein said with a serious look on his face.

Tobi was saying something but no one could understand him with the tape over his mouth. Deidara went over to Tobi and bent down to rip the tape off. Tobi was still on the floor rolling around because he couldn't get up. Deidara kicked him and ripped the tape off.

"OWWW!!!! Deidara-sempai that hurt!!! Ok, well Leader-sama can I drive this time?"

"Wtfudge?! Of course not! Do you think I'm that stupid! Wait, don't answer that. No, I'm driving and we are taking our hot ride." Leader-sama said as they walked out the door.

Leader-sama started the smexy red and black with frilly lace trimming, covered in hello kitty paintings and bands bus and threw the bus into reverse. He turned the steering wheel and slammed on the gas. The bus flew out of the driveway, ran over a tree and flew into the highway. People stopped driving and saw the bus fly in air and landed without a scratch back onto road. One guy was so distracted he kept driving and caused a 145 car pile up.

Pein claimed he was driving the speed limit and looked down at the speedometer. It read 190mph and the limit was 60mph. He just looked back to the road and pretended he didn't notice. They finally arrived at Walmart and the members started to wander around the store.

"Hello, welcome to Walmart. How can I help you?" the door greeter person asked. The person started to sweat because Itachi was glaring at him. After a few more minutes of glaring Itachi thought he was annoying and punched him into a wall. He stole the guy's sticker's and walked away. Deidara looked at Itachi and just shrugged.

The rest of the Akatsuki are destroying the aisles, smashing tomatoes and other random fruits into random customers faces, and stealing their money.

Itachi and Deidara both with carts walked off into the juice section. They piled up their carts with juices, milkshakes, sodas, Vitaminwaters, and Coffee. The pile was so tall it reached the roof and started to wobble as they walked. As they were walking Pain by Three Days Grace came on the intercom system thingy and Deidara just happened to pick up a carton of O.J.

"You thinking what I'm thinking, yeah?" Deidara asked Itachi.

"Oh, yeah." Itachi said and Deidara grinned.

**(Deidara singing. **Itachi singing)

"Oj without pulp,

Oj can't get enough,

Oj I like it without pulp, I'd rather drink oj than nothing at all…"

"**I look into my fridge and what do you know there it is,**

**Carton's empty gotta grab some more so I drive all the way to the grocery store…"**

"Apple and Cranberry aren't the kinds I need,

I see my Oj and say hurray and I pick up the carton

And I go to pay…."

"**Oj without pulp,**

**Oj can't get enough,**

**Oj I like it without pulp, I'd rather drink oj than nothing at all…"**

"Oj without pulp,

Oj can't get enough,

Oj I like it without pulp, I'd rather drink oj than nothing at all…"

Boxes of Akatsuki O's are flying everywhere and random vegetables and cat food are flying in the air.

"**It rings up, and I grab some cash but, the lights go up and I got a dash…."**

"Oj without pulp,

Oj can't get enough,

Oj I like it without pulp, I'd rather drink oj than nothing at all…"

"**Oj without pulp,**

**Oj can't get enough,**

**Oj I like it without pulp, I'd rather drink oj than nothing at all…"**

"I love, I love, I love, I love, I love Orange Juice.

And I, And I, And I, And I, And I can't get enough

Of this, of this, of this, of this orange stuff."

"**Oj without pulp,**

**Oj can't get enough,**

**Oj I like it without pulp, I'd rather drink oj than nothing at all…"**

They stop singing and start to laugh. Okay, Deidei-chan is laughing and Itachi is chuckling. The look around and notice the grocery store is burning. They walk around the store and look for their fellow members.

Kisame was walking around still looking for his comfort food and looked to his left to see the seafood aisle. He throws up again and runs to the dessert aisle. His cart is piled up with skin care products, hair shampoo and conditioner, shaving cream, brushes, nail polish, nail polish remover and other stuff.

This is the current status of Walmart: the building is burning, Konan is stuck in a freezer, Tobi is locked inside a barrel of crabs, Hidan is praying to a box of Fruit Loops and Kakuzu is stealing money from the registers. Food and people are on the floor and things are starting to crawl out of the tanks.

Leader-sama got bored and started to mess with the radio and his favorite song of all time starts playing……" When the stars go blind" by Paris Hilton. He runs over to the intercom thing and starts singing.

Leader-sama jumps onto the cash register counter and rips off his cloak to reveal his hot pink bikini and purple stilettos and starts to dance.

The customers hate the sound of Leader-sama's singing and start to crawl their way to the cash register where Pein is at. Kisame walks over where Pein is at with a tub of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream in his hands and watches the show. The rest of the Akatsuki join Kisame in watching and brought their own food as well.

Itachi noticed the customers getting closer and closer to them. They looked pretty pissed off. He started to move closer to the exit but, it was too late. The door was locked and there was no other way out.

The shoppers got up and attacked the Akatsuki. One person threw a frozen chicken and tackled Leader-sama off the counter.

"Holy Shniz! Leader-sama is down! We should help him!!" Tobi yelled as he looked at Pein with wide eyes. More people came over to the other Akatsuki members. They moved closer, and closer till' they were only a few feet away. They were grinning evilly and one person aimed his dead fish at Konan when suddenly………

~*~~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So what do ya think? Good, bad, horrible? Please read and review! Or else the dead fish and Pein's horrible singing will haunt your dreams! jk, jk.


	6. All Hell Breaks Loose

**A/n: Hey what's up? Here's chapter 6. If anyone has a suggestion on what we should write about next just pm me or something. We had a lot of fun writing and talking about this. I'm soo sorry that it's been well like forever since we last updated but, with all this drama and life it's gotten pretty tough.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the things mentioned in the crack fic. I also don't own the story on Deidara getting initated into a gang. That belongs to the guitarist in Tokio Hotel**

Chapter 6: Things happen for a reason

Suddenly, the cops arrive at Walmart after getting an anonymous call that 8 freaks in cloaks were destroying the place. The policemen arrived at the scene just in time to see Leader-sama strike a Michael Jackson pose. The officers decided to join Leader-sama in dancing and sang along with him. One officer was doing the worm and another was doing the moonwalk. After the song ended every officer threw their hats up in the air and cheered.

After the song ended the policemen arrested the Walmart Shoppers and gave the Akatsuki $1,958.99 for having an awesome person for a leader and letting them dance with him. The police drove away and the Akatsuki tried to finish up their shopping.

Tobi piled up one cart with mouthwash, toothpaste, toothbrushes, floss, deodorant. He picked toothbrushes that he thought 'resembled' his fellow members.. Tobi picked a duck toothbrush, he picked a toothbrush that had flowers and skulls for Konan. Kisame ended up getting a finding Nemo toothbrush, Kakuzu got a Joker toothbrush, Itachi got a Winnie the pooh toothbrush. Pein got a Barbie toothbrush, Deidara got a Powderpuff girl Bubbles toothbrush, and Hidan got a toothbrush with Barney on it.

Meanwhile, Konan was picking frozen food in the cold section of the store and was looking into the glassed shelves and couldn't decide on what to get. She was debating on getting sea food for revenge on Kisame because he ripped her favorite pair of thongs when they went to Disneyland.

She decide to just take everything from the shelves that she thought was edible. Fish sticks, shrimp, lobster, salmon, more fish, sushi, ice cream, popsicles, and other random items were piled into her cart.

Pein's voice was heard over the intercom thingy and he told all the other members to take whatever they had in their carts back to their hot ride.

Hidan, Kakuzu, Tobi, Itachi, Kisame, and Konan all walked out of Walmart with Smiley Face stickers and extremely full carts. Kakuzu decided to steal the stuffed animals out of the crane game machine and now has a bulging sack full of em' for his collection back in the lair.

As they were walking down the street to their pimpin' Akatsuki car, a few thugs happened to walk by and flipped Deidara off. Deidara being the cute, clueless idiot that he is thought he was being initiated into a gang.

He quickly separated from the group and walked into a store to buy the baggiest pair of pants they had. Then he found a white tank top and stole a bandana along with a hat. He went into the dressing room and quickly changed out of his Akatsuki robe into his new clothes.

With his cloak draped around his arm he walked out with his new attire. He looked adorable and the cashier lady was so dazed by Deidara's hotness she didn't notice that he didn't pay for his clothes.

He quickly caught up with the rest of his fellow members. He inspired his fellow members so much that they all decided to dress up like him. Tobi took it to the extreme and got corn rolls and his pants are so baggy that they are the size XXXXXXXXXL. By the way they are fat women's pants.

Finally they reached the van and drove home and only caused a few casualties. Well, more like 1,000 casualties, but that's the best so far.

The next day, Leader-sama called everyone for another emergency meeting and was waiting in the living room for everyone to arrive. Soon, all the members filed in and Pein announced that his idol, Paris Hilton was having a concert in Vegas and everyone was required to go. Everyone quickly ran out of the room to start packing again for another 'mission'. Well, almost everyone. Deidei-chan was busy doing his hair so he had little time to pack.

After a repeat of the road trip to Disney land(which we have chosen to not re-live for your convenience.) they arrived in Sin City. As soon as they unpacked their luggage at the hotel they were staying(luxury baby!) the Akatsuki disbanded and all of them ran off to do their own things.

To no one's surprise Kakuzu went and hit the casino. He took along with him the special Akatsuki credit card that never ran out of money. Hidan went out for a walk and saw on the outside of the hotel a huge poster of Criss Angel. He immediately decided that Criss Angel was the new God and started performing his weird rituals.

Meanwhile, Itachi and Kisame saw an add for professional showgirls and decided that they wanted to be showgirls too. They showed up at the auditions and the judges were really drunk and Itachi and Kisame got the jobs. They got frilly outfits and decided they liked the outfits so much that they would wear them all day.

Now with Konan, she was walking around Caesar's Palace standing in line when the man in front of her dropped dead. He was the leader of the Pony and Kittens mob and the other mob members thought she had killed him. They initiated her as their leader and she got a white suit, black fedora, and a cane. She changed her name to Ms. Bossmann to get respect from the other mob members. And the other members decided to join the Pony and Kitten's mob and Konan became the most feared mobster ever.

Pein was sitting at the hotel room feeling lonely and drinking vodka. He was feeling bad for himself because he didn't have the guts to ask out Konan. He looked at the clock and realized it was almost time to go to the Paris Hilton concert. He called the Akatsuki back to the hotel room so they could all get ready.

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: Alright well that was Ch.6, I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. As always, review and good constructive criticism is always appreciated!


	7. Paris Hilton!

A/N: Were totally sorry we haven't written in a while. Astrocam, thank you so much for your gave me the warm fuzzies so I decided to dedicate this to you. You're our favorite critic and if we make you laugh then well keep we totally don't own like anything in this chapter so enjoy! ciao!

Chapter 7: Paris Hilton??!!

The Akatsuki were preparing themselves for Paris Hilton's concert. The leader was sooo excited and on the way there he drove a lot faster than he usually drives. He went 280 in a 20 mph speed limit zone. As they neared the concert stadium, they managed to hit a skinny blonde girl who didn't look both ways before crossing the street. The leader didn't even look back and flipped her bird. (btw the blond girl is Paris Hilton) When they got to the concert, Deidara stepped out of the car and was whisked away by really tall buff black guys. They took him to Paris's dressing room and everyone thought he was Paris. Lady Gaga walked in and started chatting with him.

Meanwhile the other Akatsuki were out in the crowd waiting for the concert to start. Lady Gaga was opening for Paris that night and as soon as she stepped out on the stage, Itachi's heart stopped. He decided that he had fallen in love with her and wanted to marry her. As soon as she was done singing, Deidara came out dressed in a mini dress and was carrying a Chihuahua. He started singing "stars are blind". Everyone in the crowd went into shock because he was so good. The leader knew that it wasn't really Paris because it didn't suck.

Itachi and Kisame jumped up on stage and started showing off their showgirl skills. Everyone in the crowd started throwing up and crying and one guy shot himself in the head with a nail gun. Then the real Paris Hilton showed up and because she's so stupid, she thought Kisame was hot and asked him out on a date. The paparazzi took a bunch of pictures of them kissing and put it on the cover of US weekly magazine.

Itachi went up to Lady Gaga and asked if she wanted to double date with Paris and Kisame. She said yes and they all went to Taco Bell. They were having a fantastic time when Ariel and Cinderella showed up. (remember them from Disneyland?) The women all got in a fight and all the people were placing bets on who would win. Itachi and Kisame eventually got bored of the fighting and dumped the princesses. They told them that they didn't have enough money.

The princesses were really pissed off and cried all the way back to Disney land. Paris decided to sue Deidara for impersonating her in a concert and making her look good. Deidara was really offended at that and blew her up. Kisame went all emo because his first and only girlfriend had been killed, although it was in a cool way.

Meanwhile Pein was trying to figure out how to ask Konan out. He thought and thought and then decided to just do it with out flowers or any romance.

"Konan," he declared ," would you like to.." and then Paris Hiltons left kneecap flew in through the window and hit him in the eye. Pein started crying and Konan thought it was funny so she started kicking him on the ground. Then her mobster guys mugged him and took his $256,965,618,645.98 socks made out of pure gold. (He's a little weird.)

Pein was sooo mad that he announced that the Akatsuki would soon take a trip.

To outer space (cue dramatic music).


	8. Akatsuki vs The Force

A/N: Alrighty, well here's Ch.8. We decided to send the Akatsuki to different places now so the next stop is Star Wars!! We also don't' own Avenged Sevenfold or any of it's members.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the band/stories mentioned.

#*#*#*#*#*##*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*##*#*#*#

Ch. 8: Akatsuki Vs. The Force

After the whole fiasco in Vegas the Akatsuki are now back at home in their nice comfy lair. Everyone was unpacking their stuff and was very tired.

"Wait, what do you guys think your doing!?" Pein yelled when he saw his members unpacking their suitcases.

"What are we suppose to do? Eat them?" Konan said sarcastically.

"Don't give me sass Konan or else I'll have Itachi burn your room." "Alright well, the plan is that I feel like going to outer space and you all are going with me." Pein said in a smug voice and looked all proud of himself for thinking up such an awesome idea.

"That's great and all Leader-sama but, how do you plan on getting us up there?" Kisame asked as while looking through the cabinets for something to eat.

"I'm glad you asked Kisame. We are going to be riding these beauties!" Pein said as he unveiled the huge blobs in the corner of the living room. It turns out there were 9 purple magical ponies standing in the middle of the living room.

"What the hell? Why are there purple fucking ponies in our damn living room?" Hidan yelled when he walked in missing the entire conversation.

"Well, if you were listening dipshit, you would know that Pein wants us to go to outer space." Konan said giving Hidan the 'your so stupid look'.

"You wanna go you b-.."

"Now, now children do you want me to put you in the corner? Behave like civilized adults or else I'll kick both your asses." Kisame said in a motherly tone while looking at Itachi who was trying to find his way to the couch. (He's blind you know.)

"Alright, that's enough!" Leader-sama yelled at his group. "We are gonna ride these damn ponies to outer space and your going to like it!"

Konan and Hidan both pouted and looked the other way. They all grabbed their suitcases and stuffed everything they had put away back in them. They all hopped onto the ponies and started to walk out the door. Well, Tobi had to be thrown onto his pony and Itachi rode on the back of Kisame's pony because he was afraid he would end up killing his pony on accident because of his lack of sight. Probably end up pulling on its hair so hard that it would end up crashing in a ditch or something.

As they flew through space, they came across a giant ball-like thing that looked like a small moon. "What the hell is that?" Hidan screamed at no one in particular. The ponies landed on the thing and they all went inside. There were a lot of little lights and buttons that Tobi was having a lot of fun playing with. Suddenly a tall hairy creature strode into the room and picked up Tobi and left.

As soon as the other members saw that Tobi was getting abducted by the Wookiee, they all started cheering when a man/woman entered the room. Itachi remembered him from one of the previous chapters.

"Johnny in da houseeee," Johnny slurred. He was dressed like a really hairy princess Leia. Complete with the cinnamon bun hair. Hidan was getting really bored with just standing in the room with various people coming in that he randomly pulled out a lightsaber and chopped Johnny into pieces.

Everyone just stared at Hidan with a 'wtf..' look and then they just turned away and minded their own business.

Pein and Konan were strolling the hallways and Pein was practically hyperventilating because he was so close to his 'beloved'. He kept trying to hold her hand and she kept swatting his hand away and walked faster leaving him alone.

"Pein if you keep trying to make a move on me, I swear to Kisame's ugly face that I will get my pony to trample you." Konan said very threatingly and glared at Pein and did a sharp turn because she wanted her cape to smack him in the face.

Pein stood there looking defeated.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: Sorry, I ran out of ideas for this chapter and we got writer's block so until we get over it we decided to give you what we got so far. Sorry for the shortness.


End file.
